


Watch and Observe

by screamlet



Category: Actor RPF, Star Trek RPF
Genre: Canada, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, POV Third Person, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-20
Updated: 2009-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamlet/pseuds/screamlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I hate people in love," De says over drinks one night. "That young, stupid, can't get enough of each other love."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch and Observe

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Ангел-хранитель](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373470) by [Nagini_snake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagini_snake/pseuds/Nagini_snake)



> DAMN. I answered [my own prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/trek_rpf_kink/713.html?thread=522697#t522697) from [trek_rpf_kink](http://community.livejournal.com/trek_rpf_kink/): _CAN WE GET SOME FUCKING TOS ERA DEFOREST UP IN HERE._ Also has issues of on set romance as addressed in [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/trek_rpf_kink/713.html?thread=239817#t239817). DEFOREST POV, BITCHES. Also, yes. There is a lot of deadpan bursting into song.

Bill looks up at Leonard, both arms on the captain's chair, and De watches him go completely blank. "Shit," he mutters as the cameras roll.

"CUT!"

"It's all right, baby, I made a mistake this morning," Leonard says calmly in his best Spock voice. He puts a hand on Bill's shoulder and Bill grasps his fingers tightly.

"I got you to hold my hand. I got _you_ to understand," Bill answers fervently.

"I got you to walk with me. I got you to talk with me," Leonard replies. He looks off in the distance and then looks to Bill again. "I got you to kiss goodnight," he says dryly.

"I got _you_ to hold me tight. I got you -- babe, I won't let go."

"I got you to love me so."

De rolls his eyes off camera, cross his arms over his chest, and joins the crew in replying, "I got you babe."

Bill and Leonard continue to stare at each other, still not breaking, and Bill finally says, "All the leaves are brown. And the sky -- and the _sky_ is _grey_."

"You know, we could _all_ be safe and warm in L.A. if you two goofballs read the goddamn script once in a while!" De shouts from his chair off camera. That has them finally break and crumple into laughter on the bridge, and the crew claps -- mostly in support of De rather than the fourth singalong they've had in as many days.

*

"I hate people in love," De says over drinks one night. "That young, stupid, can't get enough of each other love."

"Who the hell do you know in love?" Bill asks.

De stops stirring his cocktail meditatively and stares at them both. Bill and Leonard look at him expectantly, and De wonders if they're really that dense or think _he's_ really that dense. They're intelligent men, he thinks. It's probably the latter.

"TV show my wife was watching," he replies. "Love scenes are written so _badly_ on prime time."

Bill and Leonard agree and, when De looks into his drink briefly and stirs it again, they exchange a look that they think he can't see -- that conspiratorial meeting of eyes and _dammit_ , does he really look that dumb?

*

Apparently, he does. They're filming up in the goddamn mountains _yet again_ and he's sent to find Kirk and Spock, who have found their usual cave.

Fuck, De thinks to himself. He squints slightly, still on a ledge out of their line of vision, and can see their bodies, for the most part. It's casual -- Bill has a foot against the rock wall he's leaning against, hands behind him, while Leonard's leaning on one arm positioned near Bill's head. Casual. Like something out of a _TV Guide_ photoshoot. Maybe something classier.

Except then they both lean in and kiss, a gentle, tiny thing where they don't even open their mouths or hold for more than a second. The kiss he gives his own wife every morning before he leaves, every time it strikes him while he helps with dinner how phenomenal she is to put up with him, every time she joins him in bed after brushing her teeth and they're about to turn on the TV for _The Tonight Show_ and turn out the lights.

Fuck.

He steps off the ledge to a lower level among the rocks and cups his hands around his mouth, calling out their names.

*

De is sure that Bill and Leonard throw the worst goddamned parties in the universe.

They have a strange concept of ownership when it comes to these parties. It'll be held at either of their houses, the food made by both of their wives, and they disappear as soon as it gets chatty and swinging, but it'll be _their party_ , even as their wives offer hors d'oeuvres the kids had their fingers in and they're nowhere to be found until people start leaving.

De wanders through Leonard's home that weekend, sipping from a screwdriver as he looks at the pairs of people in corners chatting each other up. That's where they're usually to be --

And there they are, outside by the treehouse Leonard's son has outgrown.

He won't interrupt. They're in the shadow of the massive tree and De can only tell it's them because who _else_ would feel comfortable screwing the host in his backyard except the co-host?

Bill's wife walks by and De engages her in some brief, boring conversation, which drives her away and gives them another minute or two.

*

They spend the summer after the first season buddied up and having barbecues in each other's yards. Bill brings weird Canadian touches to things (gravy on _everything_?) and Leonard weird Boston Jew touches and hell, all De wants is a damn cheeseburger and some potato chips.

They spend too much time shirtless and Leonard falls asleep in the sun easily; he and Bill leave random objects on his chest so he has strange tans when he wakes up -- first coasters, then a pinwheel, and once Bill was an asshole and lightly sprayed him all over in sugar water.

_All over._

They're like damn teenagers and De loves it more than he should.

They work a little, but not too much because there's the start of the second season right there and eventually they start getting the new scripts. Interesting ones, weird ones, fun ones -- and then there's _Amok Time_.

They sit in De's yard, Myrtle the turtle chewing on some grass nearby, lemonade dripping condensation on the table, and they don't speak. They read the whole thing in about 20 minutes, look at each other, and all flip back to the beginning to read it again.

Eventually, when they're done again, the three of them start to laugh loud enough (and for long enough) to scare Bill's dog into breaking free of his tether and running into a neighbor's yard.

Dog restrained, Myrtle reassured, lemonade refilled, they sit there and are unsure of how to start talking about it.

"Spock goes into heat," Bill finally says. De sees his face is red and puffy, eyes red from rubbing them dry, lips bitten almost raw -- all from _laughing_ and trying to stop.

"Yes. Yes he does," Leonard says.

"If you don't burst into tears when you find out I'm alive at the end, I'm never speaking to you again, buster," Bill adds.

"Crazy how they've been on this five year mission for however many years, but Spock never talks about this girl," De says. "Pretty big betrayal, it seems."

"It sounds like they hadn't seen each other since they were children," Leonard considers. "I can't actually see Spock _married_ , to tell you the truth. Or betrothed, or even dating. Or -- can either of you imagine the woman who'd have to put up with him?"

"But can we talk about how Leonard gets to play _Spock_ in _heat_?" Bill repeats.

"You think they'll make him greener?" De asks. "Blushing constantly and all that jazz."

"Oh, come on, they're not going to make me _green_ ," Leonard complains. "They're just --"

"And we get to _fight_ , Len," Bill says excitedly. "They didn't have any details -- how do you think it's going to be, huh? Fist fight? Swords? Pistols? Knife fight? It's a fight to the _death_ \-- maybe something kinky, like whips." He leaps out of his chair and begins pacing around the grass and talking out loud.

"Vulcans wouldn't -- well, maybe they would."

"Come on, Len, let's knife fight. Right here, right now. Ooh, maybe they throw _turtles_ at each other!"

"Dammit, Bill, I don't _throw your kids_ at people, do I?" De yells.

"Ask me if I'd stop you!" Bill shouts back. He relents, though, and steps away from Myrtle with his hands up. He goes over to Leonard's chair and began slapping him on the shoulder. "Come on, Len, let's fight. I've been waiting for this episode _forever_ ," he whines. "Spock lets loose, Spock _throws soup_ , Spock kills me!"

Leonard uncrosses his ankles, sighs, and tells Bill calmly that he wasn't going to -- and then he leaps out of the chair and tackles Bill hard enough to make De wince at the slap of their bodies against each other. Bill has the wind knocked out of him, but really, Leonard doesn't stand a chance against Bill when he's in shape. Eventually, Leonard has his biceps pinned under Bill's hands and Bill hovers over his body, straddling him around the hips.

"Hey Len?" De barely hears Bill whisper.

"What?" Oh, _jeez_ , Leonard is _choked up_.

De looks at Myrtle, who is still getting over the shock of being approached by a nutjob.

"You give me fever that's so hard to bear."

"Not another song, are you _kidding_ me," Leonard groans.

"Len! I'm giving you a history lesson! Did you know Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair? Did you hear what happened when Daddy tried to kill him?"

"Let me guess," De interrupts. "She said, hm. 'Oh Daddy, don't you dare'?"

"Actually," Leonard says, "You have to be careful about that oh." De can't help himself, and watches Leonard's face when he says to Bill (from still _under_ him, of course), "It's 'Daddy, _oh_ \--" De scratches his chin and looks at Myrtle again because Leonard definitely has lost his senses and moved his hips up and against Bill's _right in his backyard_ as he said that "oh" "-- 'Don't you dare'."

"More lemonade, gentlemen?" De looks at his wife in the doorway, smirking in that way that makes him absolutely weak in the knees and has for half his life. "Your character building looks very hard. Difficult work. You need to stay hydrated, you know."

Bill flops onto his back, parallel to Leonard on the grass. They exchange looks and stare straight up at the sky.

De raises his eyebrows at her and grins. "We're fine out here, darling. Ever going to join us? The weather's just right for lounging -- and we've got a _doozy_ of a script out here."

"It _must_ be to get you rehearsing during your vacation. I hope Dr. McCoy has similar compromising positions coming up? I'd be more than willing to help you rehearse."

"Incorrigible," Leonard says.

"Totally," Bill agrees.

*

Bill's marriage begins to fall apart. De and Leonard run around all damn day keeping people from upsetting Bill, with De doing offense and Leonard defense. De interacts with people, Leonard with Bill. De tells the director Bill needs a minute, Leonard rubs Bill's neck and shoulders with one hand and says whatever needs to be said to get them through that scene. De grabs them all sandwiches while Leonard wraps his arms around Bill's neck and holds him in whoever's dressing room they're using as a cafeteria.

It's what they do.

And they drink a lot, of course. Bill gets them kicked out of their favorite bar near the studio and they go to De's house, where his wife will leave them alone in the den. De's across from the two of them, exhausted as all hell and all he wants is to go upstairs before _his_ wife kicks his sorry ass to the curb, too -- but he can't, of course.

At around 2 a.m., it becomes clear that Bill and Leonard are spending the night, but make no moves to leave the couch where they've been all night, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders as they talk. He goes off to grab some pillows and blankets for the guest room, and comes back to find them all over each other on _his couch_.

"Jesus, do I need to turn the _hose_ on you two?"

They're petrified and De almost has to laugh -- they broke apart and almost flew to opposite ends of the couch when he spoke. De sighs and holds out his arms with blankets and pillows. "You remember where the guest room is. Go on. Breakfast is at 6:30 sharp. Just call me Howard fucking Johnson."

"Yes, Mr. Johnson," Bill says: the first joke he's made all week. De grins, because he even gets a hug before they tramp off to pretend for him that they'll be sleeping awkwardly on opposite sides of the bed.

*

They're eventually allowed back to the bar near the studio -- the bar's a well-kept secret, outwardly decorated like the worst shithole kind of dive to keep people away. It allows a certain amount of freedom for patrons. De can be nice and not play up the abrasive side of McCoy that people like so much; Leonard can be illogical and grin; Bill, well, he's Bill and doesn't really give a shit one way or the other.

They've been drinking a lot lately -- enough that De notices, and he's no lightweight. Or maybe he's been drinking more but it seems to affect Bill and Leonard more. Or maybe they're -- look, whatever the reason is, he's sitting in a booth across from them and they're talking to him but _grabbing_ at each other like he can't notice. Bill has a hand crawling _into_ Leonard's button down shirt while Leonard's talking about his daughter's science project and keeping remarkably calm about it -- the wandering hand, not the science project.

"Building her own damn walkie talkie, I can't even _pretend_ to know what she's talking about," he finishes and then looks at Bill. "What do you _want_?" he asks. "Your eyes are glassy -- I'm cutting you off, buddy."

"That's fine. All I want is you."

De starts doodling on his napkin when they start going at it in front of him; what's he going to do, anyway?

Okay, except it goes on for a while and De switches to beer to round out the night. He doesn't want to just _leave_ them there, for Christ's sake -- and maybe he's a little drunk because now he's thinking he'll be god _damned_ if from the day he met them both he hasn't been playing Papa Duck and helping them cross the road or, more accurately, helping them avoid being called fags by anyone who's sat down with them for more than 10 minutes after three cocktails.

Dammit, _someone_ has to look out for them.

*

Bill buys a handheld movie camera and starts bringing it to the set every day (until a stuntman sits on it, but that's irrelevant). De is sure he's never seen Bill as wide-eyed and brilliant as when he's running around with the camera and pointing him or Leonard towards people with directions. The Powers That Be would offer him the chance to direct an episode, De's sure of it, except Bill's directing runs along the lines of:

"Len! Look at me! No, look at me with those smoky bedroom eyes of yours -- okay, now pretend you're Jackie Robinson: trailblazer, oppressed, _legend_. Okay, now you're a _unicorn_ , the last of your kind --"

"What the _hell_ , Bill?" Leonard finally laughs. He winds up a terrible pitch and almost knocks the lens out of the camera.

"Okay, De, your turn! Now, you're --"

"Cranky."

"...Sure. And you want to --"

"Get home to my wife."

" _Who is a war profiteer._ And she's _hid_ this from you. But she's about to bear your child --"

"Who is a unicorn," Leonard finishes. "Say, whatever happened to that unicorn dog? I miss that pup."

"De," Bill says, "Answer me this, using only your eyes and your _heart_ \-- _what happened to that pup_?"

"Your plot is specious." But for all that, De closes his eyes for a moment and then gives Bill's camera the sweetest fluttering of lashes that would send Vivien Leigh into _fits_.

"Len, hold the camera. I need to rub myself against De's leg. Just a little. Don't be jealous. It's not you, it's me. Me and De."

"You know there are other friends of ours who might like the star treatment," Leonard calls out as De dodges Bill's cries of, "Mate with me! The blood fever is upon me!"

*

They find out the show won't be renewed for the following year and go out to drink. A _lot_. And it's not just a lot of drinking in one night, of course, but the whole cast spends their first two unemployed nights in a bar far, _far_ from the studio drinking their last paychecks. On the third night, it's just the three of them. (And on the fourth, fifth, and sixth nights.)

They have variations of the same conversation. De wants to go back to westerns -- that _Butch Cassidy_ movie sounds like a hit and maybe it'll bring them back. Leonard wants to work with animals (poor guy thinks he really won't get another gig like this one). Bill -- Bill wants to get back to acting as soon as possible in anything anyone offers him.

"Bill, but -- _Bill_ ," Leonard says. He obviously forgets where he was going with the chant. "Bill," he repeats, "Don't you want to open a _pet store_ with me? We can sell. You know. _Snakes_. And _Komodo dragons_. Maybe even a _whale_."

Bill's beer comes out of his nose all over Leonard's hands and the three of them burst into wild, howling laughter.

"Len. Len. Len." De knows Bill when he's drunk and that's not Bill when he's drunk. If he knows _anything_ , De knows Bill Shatner when he's drunk and at the moment, he's trying too hard to play the lush. "I will always be your friend, especially when you have stupid ideas like these."

"Not _stupid_."

"Oh, no, not at all. Besides -- I'm sure you'll have stupider ones."

They start the journey home soon afterwards by waving down two cabs -- Leonard's wife is out of town with the kids so he's spending the night at Bill's apartment.

"Gentlemen," De says, "Let's never stop exploring strange new worlds, okay?"

"Seeking out new life and civilizations," Leonard adds.

"You fucking saps," Bill finishes. He throws his arms around De's neck as the cabs pull up. "We're calling each other every damn day or I'm throwing your turtle into traffic. Steinbeck style."

De wraps his arms around Bill's waist and can't stop himself from resting his face against his shoulder. They finally separate and De and Leonard hug, too. Leonard turns to Bill expectantly, but they don't hug.

"What?" Bill asks when Leonard looks disappointed. "We're going to my place and having freshly unemployed sex _and_ you want a hug?"

Leonard shrugs and gets into the cab, managing to hit his body on no less than three separate parts of the doorframe. De looks into the cab at Leonard and waggles a finger at him. Leonard is so fucking gone he can only focus on the finger and its dizzying motion.

"Len. Eyes here," De says, pointing to his face. "You take good care of this son of a bitch, okay? And he'll take good care of you."

"Who watches the watchmen?" Leonard asks.

De shoves Bill into the cab and watches it drive away before climbing into his own.


End file.
